new book every week

Glue by Irvine Welsh

It’s like reading Shakespeare in how the language is so different. Scottish. Took awhile to get, then it slowly becomes normal to read. And my god how much the C word is used! Every other sentence! The first half of the book was kinda slow. A coming of age story, I’ve heard/read/watched so many times, not any originality. But the 2nd half I liked a lot. Not because of its originality either, but merely by the sheer vulgar language consistently used kept me captivated haha.

Starting back on “read a book a week” challenge for all of 2014!

Follow along!

Read along!

Challenge yourself!

Or just see if I can keep up to the challenge!

Books! Books! Books!

Brain Food read by LEE

This book is boringly written by Dr. Karl. I stumbled across in last week while at Kmart and it looked interesting and fun. Interesting because it chapters included The Woman whose Life was Saved by a Poo Transplant, the healthy Martinis, Madonna living on popcorn, why meat eating Pandas can live on bamboo, hamburgers that kill, onions and tears, Asparagus pee, Vodka Calories, Ice-cream Headache, and more! Sounds interesting! Fun too? Well that is because the book is packed full of goofy pictures and silly drawings. And now I know why the over the top colorful layout, to make up for the writing, it will bore you to tears. The book Skinny Bitch was packed full of science, but no pictures because the writing was hilarious. I judged this book by it’s cover, and boy did I suffer this week for it, it was like I was in school again reading assign boring text book material. Blah.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s read by Lee

Written by Truman Capote, published in 1958, and set in the 1940s (unlike the movie which is set in 1960s).

The main character, Holly, is a selfish bitch. She’s young, so that is normal from a teenager. She had a hard childhood which we know little about, except that her parents died causing her to become a runaway. The death of her parents help explain her obsession with having sex with older father like figures. And by older I mean men in their seventies, Holly is eighteen. Eight(teen).

Some girls men are just drawn to, uncontrollably drawn to, it’s not something that can be explained or taught, it just happens with some girls, even if they don’t want it to. This is not Holly’s curse, like it is for some who are inflicted but don’t know how to control it. Holly can control her stalkers before they rape and kill her. She uses this attraction to make herself a lot on money, a lot of money. Her selfish lifestyle makes her have only three “real” friends who haven’t started hating her yet. They are not girls. One is one of her stalkers who lives upstairs, the second is an actor agent she screwed over in LA, and the third is an old bartender who wants in her pants. Wait, those aren’t friends, so I guess she has NONE.

I like how the book ends without an ending, just like life.

The book also contained three more short stories. The first, “House of Flowers”, was a Holly like character, a young teenager in a small village relizes her power over much much older men so she happely begins working at a brothel. Life is good, she’s treated like royalty. Then she falls in love with an abusive young boy. They get married, the end.

The second, “A Diamond Guitar”, set in a prison, an old white man falls for a young Puerto Rican boy who tricks the old man and leaves him sad, embarrassed and alone. 

The last, “A Christmas Memory”, tells the lovely story of two best friends, one is a very smart seven and the other is in her seventies but with some mental slowness, so they are about the same age mentally. They are abused by their family, they have each other and that keeps them happy, then the seven year old in sent to boarding school, so the older woman dies alone, senile, and sad. The end.

I enjoyed reading this book, I need to look into more Capote. 

An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington read by Lee

Written by Karl Pilkington, inspired by Ricky Gervais. Why inspired? Because it was Ricky’s idea. And an idea that was forced on Karl against his will for Ricky’s mere hilarious enjoyment. Ricky admits to this. Karl knows this. Yet it all still happens.

I have loved listening to podcasts (have now been animated) of Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais, and Stephen Merchant, which are basically about an hour of Stephen and Ricky making fun of Karl. And Karl just keeps going along with it! It’s surprisingly hilarious. I don’t even feel bad for Karl while listening, he’s aware, he holds his ground, but his ideas are so absurd, racist, lazy, whatever, that I just find myself shocked at first, then rolling in laughter as Ricky and Stephen call him out.

Karl would like to never leave his suburb. He would like to born, raised, and die in the same house. He’d like to only have to go to one grocery store, and for it to be one the same time and day every week. He’d like to always have the same meal for Mondays dinner. And for Tuesdays dinner to always be the same on Tuesdays. Wednesdays to always be Wednesdays dinner. Thursdays dinner to always be Thursdays dinner. Fridays dinner to always be the same every Friday. Saturdays dinner to always be the same. And on Sunday he’d like to eat what he ate last Sunday.

So Ricky decided to send him around the world to see the eight wonders of the world, but with as many twists as he can come up with! He books Karl in the cheapest hotels or hostels. He hooks him up with the craziest locals who do things from putting Karl into a parade to taking him to a nudest beach. And no Western food! Can Karl keep sane!?

This book is Karls diary during his trip. His uncensored, sometimes absurd, thought processes. How he see’s the world. He carried this diary with him to all his daily locations, so each entry is his actual at that moment thoughts.

Funny. Amusing. But, unlike the podcast, missing Ricky and Stephen calling him out and giving him a hard time. The reader must make fun of Karl on his own. This gets tedious and boring overtime, and I found myself eventually just relating to Karl and reading it without humor. Not a good thing when Karl starts sounding like your normal inner monologue.

Simpsons Comics #50 read by Lee

I left for our vacation to Margret River, Australia, without a book! I just finished last weeks and forgot to pick up another!

While visiting a local fudge factory in downtown Margret River I noticed a used bookshop across the street with a bargain bin placed outside. Unfortunately they all turned out to be generic romance novels. But look! Wedged between two steamy volumes of lust lie an over sized special edition Simpsons Comic! I haven’t ever read a full Simpsons comic, and it is pretty thick, and it is my vacation, and I have already missed a few days of reading, and I am rationalizing. So I buy it, read it over the next couple of days, and now it’s this weeks book! HA!

Oh, and each story is written by different people, to many to list here.

Skinny Bitch read by Lee

Written by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin is full of more profanity then a Quentin Tarantino film. Multiple times I would stop read with shock of what the authors just called me! Hilarious! 

The first quarter of this book was awesome, should be read twice a year by everyone. The second quarter just went on and on about animal cruelty in the meat and dairy industry. Unacceptable abuse yes, but to much of the book was dedicated to it, causing a lot of repetition, like a drunk friend on a rant at a party. The second half of the book was just useless meal plans and a few good reference materials. 

Note: If your a guy reading this book, just look past the fact that the authors refer to you as a female, and expect you to relate to menstruation comparisons, and just enjoy the book for the sailor mouth talk and great information delivery.

History’s Forgotten Milestones read by Lee

Written by Joseph Cummins, this was the first book I have read starting my new “read a book a week” challenge, inspired by a blog post. 

Each chapter in this book was a completely different fascinating story about history. History books have a reputation for being big time boring. But what Cummins chooses to elaborate on keeps it very interesting. Very little dates mentioned, he keeps us on the gory, soap opera, twisted, and absurd facts. 

A diseased and dying king who would ride with his army, even after going blind, into battle.

The first assassination with a handgun. 

An small (eight thousand) but continuously unbeatable Swedish army, which had each of it’s members trained individually on a farm beginning at childhood, attacked a large (forty thousand) Russian army and triumphed by “devastating” them.

All women army in Africa called the Amazons who liked to cut off their opponents heads, even after killing them. 

Hitler and his Nazis obsession with the idea that the first and most pure Aryan race was mixed into the Tibetan people. 

And more!

The book broke down easily for a weekly read, a chapter (story) a day.